I've stopped believing

Mind boggling faith

2012-02-12T21:33:00.001+08:00

So basically exams are sucking up most of my time... Minus the day dreaming and watching videos times. I hate exams, what's worse then studying hard for an exam that you know you won't do well in but MUST do well in cos your future is at stake? Sigh.....

Yumzzz have been a very great study partner, teaching me, keeping me awake, buying me food, making me think about God. I love love you yumzieeeeee <3

Glad that im starting to clear my doubts one by one about my own religion. Thank God for mind boggling me, then giving me people and books that can answer my questions. :)

Anyway, bye dot dot! 9 months will fly past!! Hope to see you back soon safely! :)

I have a new dream to do mission work, I hope it works!!! Need to start preparing myself for it now if I really wanto do it...... Can't wait for daddy to be back So that we can discuss more!!

Please stop mind boggling me... You totally shouldn't have appeared at this period of time. I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ONY STUDIES..... Can you disappear? Or maybe... Stay?

We cook, we sing, we make merry

2012-02-09T09:35:00.001+08:00

Cheers to best team is the world ^^

I'm really touched that when my current team mates can't help, these great people were there to cheer me on, to accompany me, to help me. I mean like which idiot like my best bro will sacrifice his own time to come and do badges w me? Wing also, at least his heart is there. Sigh.... I felt so touched really!

I miss all the rubbish moments we had in djy, all the laughter and all the HTHT. Sigh... How I wish time can turn back to those times, those were really the best 14 days in my life, even though I was really tired from all the preparation.

I just wanto thank God for this group of people, and I pray that I can grow to like my current group of team mates, they may not seem to be my type of people from the surface, a lil too quiet, but I hope I can bond well w them and do great things w them! So much hard work put in already, no time to back out!

Badges w love finally ended, time to turbo my study mode and do well. I really don't wanto regret anymore!

Ciaoz

Same spot

2012-02-07T11:48:00.001+08:00

I realized that no matter how much people say not to treasure people that don't treasure you, you are always on my mind even when you treat me like shit. whenever I tell myself to let go cos you've let go since forever, I find myself staying at the same spot waiting for you. Forever waiting for my phone to ring just once.....

When will i find someone that will treasure me as much as I treasure him?

Enough of shit.

thinking of you you you you you

2012-02-03T14:38:00.002+08:00

okay i just thought it was about time to sum up my chinese new year! actually other than the first few days of visitation that was exciting... nothing much already.

cny seemed like the chiong assignments weeks! always leaving work to the last minute isn't the best idea anymore. i did it for both MICE projects, one till 6am in the morning, and i just missed class the next day, and then one till 4am in the morning, and i slept 14 hours straight after that (Y) life of a poly student.

djy3 members doing badges together. i swear i feel like giving up. why issit always me? SERIOUSLY. design i design, market i market, take orders i take orders, customize badge i customize, i cut, i make the badges. WHY ALWAYS ME?!!?! all i want now is a nice angel to complete the whole project for me. i really don't wanto continue with this shit anymore.

kaiwen came to visit lcc! hooooorayyyyyy! went to drink cup walker walked home from kovan. accomplished (Y) i really should exercise more! i think she's like the only friend that i "God talk" to. sigh..

me and my fat friends decided to wear red to celebrate cny! everyone was like wallau why red?! hahha i think its pretty lame but im happy to do it once in a while. but anyway we always wear the same colours to school coincidentally too....

wednesday, dooms day! i had the crazy BCSS test, but im so glad i got my A, whew!! thanks ahleck for all the good hints!! ^^

had djy2 sharing session, was quite touched by wings jiahui and mel's sharing even though i thought i heard them a thousand times! i thought i could have done better..... sigh... but anyway, this brings a closure to djy2 no? im gonna miss this bunch of crazy people like mad... like seriously. djy3 is just so different, not in a bad way, but im still gonna miss djy2 alot alot alot alot!! i just hope that i won't compare so much over there... oh should i say, i pray that i can go there! if not its just all wasted efforts sigh... gonna miss weijian too! major sigh. i need help w badges :( why david so mean :(

i was really unhappy that day, posted a status on fb that was only meant for 1 person to see, but everyone came and comfort me, so touched! this is the good thing about showing sadness only once in a while! thank you amy, xiaobai, yanchang, wing, minhui, rachel, yms, jiahui, shawn, peiqin, zelia, yumz, fish, jiahui.......... i feel so loved :''D shall be stronger from now on!!!

okay i guess thats all...... oh plus steam boat at jo's ytd!!! awesome shitzxzx. happy birthday jo!!! enjoy life in AJ and study hard!! hope you find your real prince soon ^^

okay time to study for exams! i need to survive these 2 weeks. badges. study. bazaar. badges. study. bazaar. no time for boy problems. SS, ST, AS, WZ, AA GOODBYE FOR NOW! Lydia lim lets go!

ps. im still waiting for your call

Chinese new year 2012! (First 3 days)

2012-01-26T00:56:00.004+08:00

HAPPY CNY!

im suppose to be doing my MICE but aiya too tired. shall blog a lil to rest a while heehee. okay so so lets start from....

When: one day before Chu xi! (Saturday)

1724 reunion tea gathering!

We had a very awesome potluck! i no need to bring food cos my contact group people brought hehe good life! anyway v hungry cos no one bought MAIN COURSE again. Watched a movie called "The greatest Love" i think. Its about why christian have to marry christian. I never ever doubted the fact, but now im more sure. Because we will not be going in the same direction, we will have different behaviors. Therefore, NO. After that we went to eat porridge at Kovan area! Nice but ex! then went home to practice piano to meet my dooms day.

CHU XI

played 2 solo pieces. almost died. first piece was ok. second piece got mistakes. aiya whatever. at least its over! after that went to eat with churchies! at first wanted suntec, then changed to old airport road, but beancurd stall no open so we cabbed to kallang leisure park to eat nihon murah! The guys had buffet while me qi cw and caris had ala cart. Wallau keep tempting me to eat sia. AND THEY FREAGIN EAT THE BUFFET FOR 2.5 HOURS. HOW TO SIA? Pro. So me qi cw and caris went to Berrylite and we caught up w each others life a bit! Fun! I really really love sessions like this (:

Then went to my grandma house to eat reunion dinner!!! Hate the fact why my ahma always put in so much effort to cook for us but then always dowan to sit down w us to eat. My ahma so nice and cute! Thank God she knows the Lord already! PTL! (:

CHU YI!

Went out with a very happy spirit, (cos big sis not there i think! always the cause of our unhappiness tsktsk ) mummy was v happy and wanted to take picture to show off her jade ring and bracelet! not forgetting the Coach pouch that we bought for her hehehe

Si min is back! Started calling her Fu Dan for no reason HAHAHA. hope you're having fun at fudan uni!! Faster come back and produce mediacorp shows!!!

Group photo with the couz. Got a lot more actually!! but all left liaoz

We were lazing in bed and got nothing to do. hahaha i think we're cool though!!

CHU ER!

first stop was to go third aunty's house! I went for like one hour only to show face. hehe. watched the karate kid and we made a lot of noise! HAHAHA. anyway the photo below one is my pretty couz another is my 280 couz. no he's not 280cm tall (#yousiao) but he scored 280 for psle!! (#hesiao) and i think i look quite cool in that pic HAHAHA.

Then cabbed over to mabel's house to play a lil mahjong! Lucky 5 bucks only! I mean the cab fare! Had to stone had her place a lil at first cos the parents was playing mj. we were like playing cards and trying to watch tv while waiting. then when can play mj Dunno why very fast jiu very tired liao so we didn't play a lot. Finally met her parents again! They cannot recognize me already! HAHA

Then Flew to caris house to bai nian! met some of the churchies there. Played five stones with chuck and Dorka. damn old school!!! THe rest went to bowl after that but i went home to chiong my MICE.

Chu san!!!

whole singapore only SP got holiday HAHA only #possiblewithSP !! so proud of SP for the first tiem hehehe. Went to xiaobai house to play mahjong! Hahaha she and alston is like the funniest couple keep scolding each other. Then gwen came to take over Alston while he went to play dota/watch MBA and play with bing. He say leaving for army liao so must play while he can. Poor BAI! she'll be so lonely haha.

Anyway didn't win but lost some money! but nevermind! fun can liao! Spent the last one hour camwhoring and catching up a lil. drawing on polariods!!!! I need to get those markers hmphhhhh.

What to say other than i really enjoyed my CNY quite a lot!! Very happening!! At least i managed to forget about the boys for a while...... HAHA. thanks friends and family for such a COOL CNY! Back to MICE now!! GOOOODABYEEEEEEE!!

nothing is real

2012-01-19T23:00:00.004+08:00

Wei En and Kaisheng's wedding! It's just really sweet to see them really finally get married. Seriously, crushing her for 10 years before asking her out?! So romantic....... Aiya........

Went down with a few of the lccsf people and finally got to meet up with some of the maji people! hahaha really glad that we can still remain friends even after the camp. Hope that we will have more combined events in the future! (:

SPCF AGM

ok so i thought im gonna be really happy after AGM ends, cos its like the end of ALL my responsibilities in CF, but apparently not. Cos I'm starting to like the people there. Aiyaa...... I know I haven't been the most responsible and efficient committee member, but i still wanto thank God for this chance to serve!

I asked myself what is that one thing that God wants me to learn from this: not to make any harsh decisions about serving. When i was invited to take up this role, I was like.....1 month into the club. I took it up only becos my seniors begged me to. I didn't think of the commitment level, the difficulty of the job. I just thought, okay, since they need me, why not? Now I've learnt to think twice when taking up a serving role because we should always give our BEST and nothing less to God. So yes, I'm guilty for not doing my best, and I will never ever do this again!

But still thank God for such a fun committee. As much as i hate to admit, but im starting to like the committee members hahaha like stupid sam and the v smart rebekah. Okay so maybe both are top students, but still. It would be nice if Shawn was still around! But aiya....... i understand. I've learnt to listen out to both side of the story. It is indeed v important. Such different stories, but haha its okay, everything is over. I just hope that we can still fellowship well as one family.

So, plans for next year. I don't know if i can or if i want to switch over to the english side, cos there are more people there, i can get to know more people, but aiya............. i don't think its nice to leave the chi side right? morever i really like the npcf people! but the nice people are leaving next year...... hmm maybe i really should jump ship. but i think the chinese side people will kill me. oh nooooooo. lets just keep praying (:

Anyway after AGM these 3 hilarious boys followed me to eat at srgn chomp chomp even though they stay in jurong, dover and bukit gombak respectively. THANKS GUYS! hahah and the conversations are really funny. Shao Cong is like............ fierce. Now i know why xueqi is scared of me HAHA.

School is boring, but thank God for OCIP preparation, they are sort of the things that motivate to go to school even though its really tiring. CARWASH AGAIN! this is alvin, my team mate. Working with djy3 makes me miss djy2 so much..... not that i don't like djy3, but i really miss the times i had in china with team 2!!!! hope this team will be as fun as t2! I WILL PUT IN EFFORT TO KNOW MORE PEOPLE!!

Okay thank God for Iphone! thats the reason why im blogging so much! the time spent to upload photos from iphone is like 100x faster!! WOOOHOOO

okay time to start on MICE. everyone finished except me who haven't even start yet ): oh man. CIAOZ!

How do you show her you love her?

2012-01-13T10:38:00.003+08:00

School is boring as usual. Most of the time i go to school thinking that i'm wasting my time cos i always think that i can study alone at home, which is not true, cos i won't study at home. Anyway so i didn't do well last term, very terribly to be exact. I should have known when i didn't study last term.... just screwing up w my own poly life. I was very motivated to study v hard this term to HOPE that i can pull up my grades so that my GPA won't drop so badly, but i guesss its gonna be quite impossible especially with 4 tests but only 2 exams, which means no time to study PLUS djy3 preparations are going to drive me mad...........

omg regret. Regret for not studying harder last term, plus regret for doing badges and carwash for djy3 this time too. i wanto bang wall and die.

anyway, last weds we went to RWS! nothing much. hahaha no we did not go into USS, we went to take pictures outside the globe for fun. Wallau when can i go to USS!!!!!! i dowan to wait till USS close like escape then never even go in before..... >(

Cannot really decide whether to stop learning cello not, seriously life is busy enough and i know that i don't practice my cello, but i think i'm coping well with it....... teacher ask me to take grade 3 in march!!! but means i have to buy a cello at $1000!! aiya idk how. i wanto learn keyboard badly. no not piano, but keyboard like the stunts on piano, learn how to play some bluez or counter melody most importantly help me improve my playing for playing for church worship. i suck ballzxzx compared to the rest!!!

my dream is still to sing and play songs in a pub. hahaha i need to get rid of my short tongue first!

okay v tired already. SF Forum tmr, wish us luck! please don't shoot us down to badly!

The stars dropped tonight...

2012-01-08T21:48:00.002+08:00

So school officially started already... damn sian. hate school. but still got 3 more terms!!! didnt do very well this sem, but i wont be sad cos i know i didn't study hard enough the past term! v motivated to study harder this term so that i can still make sure my gpa dont drop too much!! i really need a scholarship, uni really v ex. i don't really wanto go overseas to study cos i'll be missing my churchies too much, but yet this place got no event management course!!! sian ): have been hanging out with these people too much during the hols now school just started and i can't help it but miss them too much ): i want holidays back ):

can't wait to get over this term............................ thanks chong yue ting for peiiing me go buy caris present ytd wallau so difficult to buy but i still hope you like it my dear!!! (:

I need to stop being so lazy and go be a "new person". So much to do for God, yet im so lazy ):

I really like you, i think ): i really need to get skinnier ):

hongkong (5)- THE END!!

2012-01-01T12:05:00.002+08:00

Ok so it's the fifth day of camp already. Quick summary: 1st day they just arrived, we had mass bonding games. 2nd and 3rd day we slogged our hearts out to play w the kids. So tiring! These kids really have lots of energy!!!! we played bubbles, mr wolf, relay, made our own cupcakes. And many many more!!! It's tiring, but fun :)

Spent the entire fourth day in bed cos I was having a really bad fever. Like really bad. I slept for like 23 hours ytd.... Now my throat still hurts.
It's like having a lump in my throat, whenever I swallow my own saliva it's hurts. And I feel sorry for not helping out as much as I should. And I don't feel like eating.... I hope I can lose some weight when I reach sing.... :)

my favorite girls!!! angel pok and elaine pok :D :D :D

ask the kids to crawl on their hands and knees like an animal but they rather roll!!! ROCK AND ROLLL YEAHHH

poor rachel kenna sit on. i rmb my v bad experience kenna taupok 2 years ago.... HAHA fun!

my v cute indonesian boy!!! :D

playing with the bubbles like a kid! really fun :D

our dear naughty stephen eating w cream on his face! cute yaaaaaaaaaaaa.

CIAOZZ

Hongkong (4)- Training!!!

2011-12-28T20:07:00.002+08:00

Ok so we changed rooms. Not w my awesome room mates anymore :( but I hope all will be good. I need to grab onto angel though!!! If not I'll be so sad and lonely :(( anyway training have been really good!!! Uncle tennant is really good. We played a few get to know each others games and also bonding and active learning games! They're really fun and meaningful. Hope that I can remember how to play it and teach it to people in Singapore!!

I had a good time yesterday playin pictionary w my group mates ytd!! They are really funny people.

And and I'm really looking forward to tmr. I can't wait to play w the kids. Just ran around the fields a lil w them just now. And boy they are really energetic!!! god please give all the helpers good health, lots of energy and knowledge to teach the kids. I have a bad sore throat and block nose. PleaSe go away. I wanto play w the kids!!!!

Ciaoz!!

Hong kong (3) - safe in breakthrough :D

2011-12-27T16:28:00.002+08:00

Hahaha I found this photo in the Msi office. The office people keep a photo of our family in their office!!! So sweet Of them(: glad to know that there's people praying for our family!! this is my sister two years ago.

And now she looks like this. The one in he middle of the photo. SEE HOW MUCH SHE SLIMED DOWN. SO PROUD OF HER!! One day I'll be like that. I hope. Hehehe.

The food is here. This jap food is
Too salty and too sweet. Something is wrong w my taste buds. And stomach. Can't even finish my own food.

We're finally at breakthrough youth village!! My room this year is far better than 2 years ago yay!! Haha this is a picture of my room . This is the living room. 3 bedrooms upstairs. Nobody really wants to go upstairs because we don't wanto decide who will share room with who HAHAHA. Funny. Okay shall blog more later. Tata!

Hongkong (2) - safe at Aunty Joyce's place!

2011-12-26T22:30:00.002+08:00

Reached Hk safely!! So proud of myself. I thought I'll need some form of help at one point or another in the airport. But no!!! I did it myself hoho. Feeling damn mature and independent HAHAHA.

Anyway I'm at Aunty Joyce's house now. Small but cozy!!! A lot better than the other houses already!! Really appreciative manzzzz.

Oh and thats my room mate in the corner. She looks like the very typical Chinese-Australian. Really pretty! Shall post a pic when we got closer and managed to take a pic HAHA. Slept through the afternoon. And now cannot fall asleep. Enjoying wifi in the living room now. Cos the connection in the room sucks haha. Anyway managed to do some shopping just now!! Yay. Looks like its my only chance LOL. No time already :((( tmr start camp.

Okay time to watch a lil tv and go to bed!! And continue whatsapping people. I love my iPhone WOHOOOOO.

Hongkong (1) - flight to Hk

2011-12-26T12:18:00.001+08:00

Not a good flight at all. It's a smooth flight definitely, but not a comfortable one. I think my fever is coming back. Sore throat, blocked nose. I got a feeling that if my sore throat don't go away, my fever is going to keep coming back. Never felt so weak in my whole life. This is the 5th day I'm sick now. At its the Christmas season!!! Xmas is suppose to be fun and more fun :(((( and im at this stupid seat where i only can stare at the wing of the plane. Stupid. ok blog more later. Plane landing!!!

we're not meant to be

2011-09-03T09:42:00.004+08:00

ok yay exams are over!!!

but no holidays have yet started )：been so busy with OCIP stuffs, not that i regret joining, but i think i would be much free-er without OCIP, but i gotta say im really enjoying myself quite a lot while playing w my OCIP team mates. Quite a few strong headed people like me in the team so discussion can get quite intense but we get things done! thats the point right? And when we play its really like SIAO. hahaha its really v fun with them around (: looking forward to the time we

have in DuJiangYan.

Please pray for me, djy just had an earthquake 3 days ago, im so so soooo scared that it's gonna happen there when im there then im gonna die under the rubbers. aiya siannnnnn ): so scared of everything, i shouldn't be right? cos i would LOVE to go to God. hopefully in heaven i won't be fat and won't have ugly skin. Aiya i shouldn't be complaining cos im the one not doing anything about it, not running, keep scratching. Sigh.

Secretly hoping for a 4.0 when i know i confirm cannot do it. They say hope high, drop not so low, correct right? to Aim for 4.0. please give me 3.7 ): ): ):

this is purely transferring of PHOTOS into my harddrive. i think i damn pro.

Saw this on some other place:

Sometimes, you would look at your best friend and ask yourself this: How the hell dis this retard became the friend I value th most!? 0.o

hehehe leisibian meet up soon!! (:

happy girl likes to blog

2011-08-28T14:48:00.004+08:00

i seem to reminisce a lot. i miss band days, can't wait for together viii! GO AMB JIAYOU!

happy girl likes to blog. introducing to you my sexy girlfriend amos ang. other than having a super big ego i think he's a rather nice guy! THANK GOD I STILL HAVE HIM ARD LIKE ONCE IN TWO MONTHS :>

ok i should be doing proposal and studying. byebye!

fellow warriors in school

2011-08-27T18:24:00.002+08:00

introducing to you guys my poly classmates! i don't think i've ever talked about my poly classmates before, other than complaining about having no friends at the beginning of school and everyone hated me cos of idk what reason. hahaa but im glad things changed and im able to talk to a lot of them better now!

haha yup just as you see in the picture you can see that all of them are rather crazy. and my class is made up of 10000 girls and two boys, (oh wait, boys? hmm.) haha though crazy, but still VERY hardworking. thats why im ~~forced~~ motivated to do as well as them and thus being hardworking as well! REALLY. just very happy that we are a bunch of people who wants each person to do well, thus we have the smarter ones helping the not so smart one, or should i say the hardworking ones helping the not so hardworking ones (like me). HAAA THANKS FISHY!

very inspired by fishy to start listening in class from next sem onwards. no more of hugging Jesus's leg! :D JIAYOU.

waiting for your text is the hardest thing on earth. i mean you. not you. sigh. why the wrong person texting me. sigh. face reality yo.

Mug my ass off

2011-08-15T21:12:00.002+08:00

Bored. I'm supposed to be studying. But im currently blasting music in my dining room and drawing tents which are useless. 4 more topics to memorize for efc i think im so gonna die. Haven't even started on CCS yet. And I think I'll be sick tmr after tmr's injection. ohmgeee the thought of it makes me wanto faint): why am i so scared of everything sigh):

one good thing is that I completed my tshirt stuffs for DJY. have to stop doing so much thing for the team and give others a chance. i must stop wanting to be in charge. especially when its none of my biz, right?! sigh blame it on my kpo character.

Can't wait for these 3 weeks to fly past and then I can enjoy my hols!!! But not really enjoy since it'll be packed with preparation for my OCIP! hope i can have a greattttt time there!!

Please continue to pray for my hardworking-ness and also my skin, better a bit alrdy! Thanks to the heavy dose of anti-itch pills that i eat at night!! Hope that this can go on till my skin is clear!

Need to start running sooon toooo!!! Fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat fat.

Q: What's worse than being fat?

A: Being fat and ugly and have ugly skin.

ok off to study! CIAOZ

Happy birthday SJC

2011-07-28T14:44:00.003+08:00

i know this is one day late but its better than never right!! HAHA anyway happy birthday to my dearest seowjongchi. Never ever regretted knowing you for the past 10 years. Can't believe out of so many batch mates in church, you're the one i hang out most with throughout the years although you are a freagin basket. Hahaha.

Thanks for always being there, being my boss for a few camps (and you know you will continue to be for the next few event) , being my helper (for a few major events i can't rmb), being my study partner! Hohoho I hope you liked what i taught your haopengyou to do for you hohohoho.

Continue to stay happy and awesome k! Lets have more good friends years!!!!!!!

I will survive

2011-07-12T10:42:00.003+08:00

LCC SF presents to you:
THE GREAT I AM

世界我最大

16/2/2010 Saturday

1930-2130

Worship, Play, Donut Buffet

One of the bigger events that I'm involved in. I must say, being a producer aint easy! But its definitely a good experience. Please come and support! Interesting Stomp performances and awesome Donuts from donut factory! For people like you and me from I-generation who thinks of me, myself and I.

okay enough of publicity............. i think im gonna die.

This week is crazy. lets list down:

The Great I am Rehearsal

The Great I am Event

SF DAY

Play piano piece in da tang

3 days of car washing

filming ending video for play

meeting with CF officer

CYA AGM

CYA duty

OCIP meeting

Finish typing dad's stuffs

Cello lesson

Choir practice

Tuition Shanice

Skin center appointment

50 ahems.

Awesome. Why make myself so busy? make life so miserable for myself only.

by next year, i'll be more free!! i hope:

quit CYA

quit CF

no more in charge of SF day

no more OCIP

That leaves me with:

Cello, choir, piano, school.

AWESOME. LETS DO THIS! LETS GO! I WILL SURVIVE WOOOH.

MY GOD IS SO GREAT SO STRONG AND SO MIGHTY THERES NOTHING MY GOD CANNOT DO FOR YOU AND ME.

Thank God for good results this term! (: i will continue to work hard! :D

Hard to get by

2011-06-28T21:37:00.003+08:00

decided to change photo of my blog. not like people won't know that I'm lazy even w/o the picture. ha. it just mean that i have no one impt in life now to have their picture on my blog. haaaa.

ok i won't say that life sucks now. but its hard to get by. dua gu died. he's my fav. the one who always ask me to drink beer with him, the one who every year ask me if i have boyfriend alrdy, the one who always lie beside me and watch tv together when im alone at grandma house. the one who always treat me to food when i visit him at his shop. the one who held my hand and didn't wanto let go when i visit him in the hospital. i still don't f

eel anything now, not that im not sad, i just, feel v numb and i don't feel anything. sigh.

school kinda suck. keep on wanting to pon school. im just not learning anything. but thank God for good results though. I know im gonna die. cos im still at the part where i don't listen in class but study at home and still get good results. uni will be diff. im gonna die. and now if i get a B+ i know i'll cry. shit life manzx.

money flowing out like shit. stop wasting money pls lydeer.

i need to get rid of fats. about 1 year left to da jie's wedding. i wanto be a pretty bridesmaid.

okay 14 days left to sf day! i hope that i can be more responsible and complete this project well. okay good bye. i need to go read shanice's Amath coordinate geometry. why issit so difficult now ):

k ciaoz

oh before i leave i shall just post a picture of my new short hair.

ciaoz

Broken

2011-06-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

不知到为什么我只有在伤心时才想blog? 想发泄吗？还是想引起别人的注意？随便。不想去想这无聊的问题。

好累，为什么整天对你好？很想骂你王八蛋然后说出你所有的坏话。可我知道我一个人肯定赢不了你。好想骂你，好想和你吵架，踢你出局。可是。。神说要彼此相爱。好难哦。 It makes me feel like some fake person when i'm trying to be nice to you cos deep down i know i really don't like you. STOP GETTING ON MY NERVES. YOU NEVER CHANGED.

It sucks when you know that you're not gonna be happy on the day that you thought that you should be happy. if things were last time, i would be happily camping and looking forward to the day. but no, things changed. i don't blame you, i blame myself. maybe its something i did, or maybe its something that you don't like. but i hate myself for not having the courage to find out the reason. i don't dare to approach you. everytime when i look at the picture on my wall i just feel so..... how can someone who was so so so dear to me become someone who im so scared of now, and also the one who just turns my whole world around. YOU ALL were my whole world, my whole life revolved ard you guys. Why... why did this happen. Not happy. Sad. Very upset. Life sucks.

I don't know why but i don't think i have any true friends now. Boyfriends, studies, commitments, no one really cares. Haaaa. iGeneration. I know.

So emotionally tired. WHy do i have to keep on the smiling face wherever i go?

To make things worse i know im just gonna get even busier when school starts. Production, choir, korean, sf camp, strings, cf, piano, ocip.

Just wanto sleep and never wake up.

Life, pls give me some things to be happy about.

wrong intentions

2011-05-23T14:36:00.003+08:00

last year's camp was so fun. why am i dreading this year's in church camp? sigh. i need to serve whole heartedly.

False hopes

2011-05-18T23:28:00.006+08:00

i met up w this woman ytd! LIKE FINALLY. haha though it was very last minute but im so glad that we made it happen. Wanted to study but epic failure. Ended up lying next to each other (haha no don't think wrong - rmb our many years ago jiatingying joke? ''we're gonna combine our beds, put music, pray perfume, and off the lights, and have fun at night!'') talking and catching up w each other. Woman come back soon please! i need you back in lcc):

this is my act cute 2nd sister. don't let you see the eyes in case you kidnap her in hongkong. haha have fun! and pls buy things for me ty :D

children's camp was so fun last year. this years family camp is like................. -.- WANGZAI I NEED YOU LAHHHHHHHHH): okay lets just pray that everything would be alright.

you're in luck today! today is a photo day. once in 10 billion years :D

CIAOZ

please don't treat me any nicer. argh

对不起这不是爱情

2011-05-10T23:58:00.002+08:00

i wanto blog about my 18! but its past midnight now. i think i need my sleep. tmr there is lesson at 830 and changi after that. i better sleep now so that i can survive tmr. but just wanto share that im a happy kid nowadays. thank God for helping me to love my enemies, at least im trying. Hope that i'll try harder and stop talking behind your back. anyway welcome sampan guy to our group! hope that we'll he zuo yu kuai and not quarrel like last time!

happy things :

- minhui is gonna get into top 4 in badminton and make history!!

- and i finished my tutorials except PR that is due 3 weeks later.

- and i've made a new good friend recently her name is Chelsea. seems like she loves me v much and wants to hangout w me a lot HAHAHAHA.

- im gonna study tmr im gonna study tmr im gonna study tmr. (common As come over here to mummy)

- 1724 camp was fun!!!

- im going church family camp!!! WHEEEEEE and im staying in the same room as yueting:D

sad things:

- i need/want/must meet leisibian! i miss you stupid woman!!

- i haven't been listening in class. i must stop thinking that not listening in class is okay

- im having very bad bad cramps

- i miss aunty yap and her nonsense on sundays

- i still have cya. CANT WAIT FOR SEPT SERIOUSLY.

- i screwed my vocal audition but i can't be bothered don't want join alrdy

- mr leow lost the CD i gave him screw him seriously!!! heartbreak

OKAY ENOUGH UPDATES IM GONNA SLEEP

Please don't go

2011-04-18T21:20:00.004+08:00

i don't know how to face life now. everything seems so screwed. the family that once is so dear to me seems so far and unreal, reading back my archives really makes me wanto cry. every moment spent with you guys were awesome, i know i made mistakes but i really didn't know that it'll cost my family. i really don't wanto move on but i don't seem to have a choice. until one day when you guys accept me again, i doubt that life would be livable.

How?

2011-04-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

its easier said than done.

life's like this

2011-04-02T01:18:00.004+08:00

i wanted to blog a long post but i changed my mind. i just wanto say 2 things.

1. Dreams are meant to be chased, not meant to be just dreamt about.

2. Do not chase the worldly things, because the world will come to an end. Live for God's kingdom. Screw worldly relationships. I'm gonna build one w God.

Just like a dream

2011-03-26T01:39:00.003+08:00

i don't think there's anyone as lazy as me anymore. these few days have been bad, painful. i've chose to numb myself w serial dramas that warms my heart. the more i watch, the more i realise it is difficult to jump out of the drama world into reality.

yesterday i had a weird dream. i dreamt that i was getting married. and that i couldnt rmb who i was married to. so instead of asking people who im married to, i chose to wait till the moment i walk onto the wedding isle. i woke up at 11am at first, and then cos i wanted to know who the guy that i was married to in my dream, i forced myself back to sleep. i wake up every half an hour, but force myself back to sleep, and in the end i realised who is that guy. LMAO. weird dream. the last time we communicated properly was 15 years ago hahaha.

and and i dreamt that our church turned damn big. the backstage was big enough for a jamming concert!!!

okay thats a dream. a nice dream indeed. i need to sleep now. mum's nagging. night! :D

Greed kills

2011-03-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

these few days have been...

i hate it when things clashes and then i cant decide. then in the end i screw up both. i know i really should stop being so greedy. i don't wanto have the wrong priorities. once again my head and mind decides to give different answers. you know my heart belongs to them but argh, i know it shouldnt. its da zai jie, God fasted 40 days to save me. lydia lim, what are you doing?!

i hate how the way i screw things up and get emotional these days. come back will you?

today cya was my happy pill. amazing. no mood. need to find someone to talk to. where?

ciaoz

But by the spirit of God

2011-03-12T22:20:00.003+08:00

just when i thought that i mean something more to you, you make me realise that you're more than something to everyone. i mean like seriously?! i don't think im in love, but seriously i really don't like this feeling. after being crushless for almost two years, i forgot how to love. i can't rmb whats the feeling of loving someone and so i don't know if this means i love you. aiya this is dumb. while people in japan are worrying an crying over dead people im troubled over my own feelings. wake up your idea lydialim.

argh

anyway.

i realised i havent been blogging. there is so many things i wanto do but im not doing anything. ok i think i must work this out. i shall list the things i wanto do this hols. left about 1 month.

1. revise korean

2. practice guitar

3. make cards/gifts

4. take nice photos

5.photoshop

6.clear my tableS/cupboardS
7.compose
8.watch dramas : playful kiss, dream high, nine tail fox, etc etc.

9. wait and die.

CIAOZ

life is good

2011-01-28T14:52:00.004+08:00

i think im weird. im like super inspired by this sentence that i came across on someone's blog.

"Life isn't about how we survive a storm, but it's about how to dance in the rain."

I wanto live a damn jing1 cai3 life, even though im fat and ugly. Fat and ugly people can have fun no?!! haha LIFE WILL BE AWESOME. I WILL TREASURE EVERY SINGLE SHIT YOU GIVE ME AND MAKE LEMONADE OUT OF LEMON WHEEEE!

okay im gonna study econs until my book rots.

LIFE IS GOOD!

CIAOZ! :D

When the sky falls

2011-01-17T21:32:00.009+08:00

okay im here to blog!!! cos most of my major projects are done for now. but more to come obviously. okayso as i promise im gonna blog about things i've done from the last few days of dec to now. hahaha im skipping ipoh, its very fun, but i'll blog about it another day heh.

okay first up: SF CAMP 2010

haha it was rather successful, thanks to my dear chairman!! thanks for all the hardwork my dear!! especially when im not ard to help, you really really deserve thumbs up!! haha thanks to the committee too, for being committed at least for the last few weeks before camp, and not to forget our dearest saigang warriors. camp wouldnt be successful w/o you guys. this is my third year being part of the camp committee, each year i've learnt different things. thing year i've learnt how to be part of a team, how to be humble, how to be nice, how to be tolerant. thank God for all the precious lessons learnt!

next up we have our xmas party at church. i was helping out at the children's section. what can i say other than: I LOVE DANCING!!! haha i mean kids dance. i get damn high really!!! hahaha. Good job to all the xiao lao shi's especially the 3 worship leaders!!! YOU ALL WIN CAN!! haha the kids were having so much fun seriously. thanks wang for organising everything, and oh allll the musicians for the wonderful music!! i really see future in us serving in children's worship more often ley. we should right?!! as in on a regular basis. its fun!!!

then we have our awesome gang xmas party and naiba's place. haha the food is awesome, company is awesome too. haha i mean like i didnt know watching a movie could be so fun LOL. all the predicting of the story and all the stupid comments: SHI RU DAN YE!! haha omg so funnayeee can. hahaha i love you alll lets have more parties like this!!!!

moving on, we have our 1724 welcome party!! yay my dear 94s are finally in 1724!!! hehehe 1724 will really be more fun in the upcoming years RIGHT?! hahah you all pls attend faithfully!! then this will motivate me to go also!! (: looking forward to make 1724 a big big part of my life! afterallll they are really a fun bunch of people! :D

then school started. hahah sucks. but anyway last saturday was cca openhouse!! wheeee damn fun. i mean the formation was AWESOME CAN!!! hahaa amb you all really rocked the whole show. best formation i've seen since forever hahaha. i think the mark time thing is really coool cos you all dont get to be out of line. hahahha. BTW JEREMY KOH TECK WEE GOOOD JOB OKAY!!! i see your hardwork, and it really paid off!!! except for the stupid maze that CMI and broke off even though you caught it. hahah you are really brave to throw it like 7-8 times haha yay!!!! pls continue to work hard and lead amb to greater heights!!! not forgeting to fight with nat to top sec 5 olevels!!! :D after cca openhouse i went to chinatown with mrlim salvia and seunghee to chinatown to watch the firecrackers. its my first time to go chinatown during cny period cos i don't like crowds. it sucks seriously. haha but i had a fun time still seeing things that i don't usually get to see. and this is the nice fire crackers!! NOT BAD RIGHT AHAH.

okay 2011 have been good so far. just that i can't wait for school to be over. another 1 more month to go and school's out!!! YAY. then there's adventure camp (WHICH SUCKS), i really have to start building up my stamina!! now i climb two flight of stairs leg also will pain. really CMI ah. getting fatter. cny coming. the uncles and aunties will complain that i grow fatter again. aiyah dammit. hate cny. other than the angpao part.

to you: you hating me is making me hate you. i mean i really used to love you, but cos you don't like me you've making things so weird and awkward for me that i really cant help not liking you. argh but i know i really do miss the times we had. can we plssss go back to last time? everytime i look at our picture i stick on my wall i wanto cry. i really really really miss our relationship. poly life would really really be better with you ard to give me advices and everything, cos now apparently i've screwed up my poly life, and im not blaming you. im just sad that everything could have been better with you ard. i miss the fun. seriously. stop bullying me? ): ARGH SUCKS TO BE ME. cos you're so nice to everyone else ):

im gonna go offline feeling sad argh.

oh and i have pimple on my eyelid. good job. i can't open it properly. guess i have to snip off my fringe today to prevent it poking my eye and eyelid. argh bangs?

i thought you cared

2011-01-10T11:53:00.003+08:00

i realised both my 2009 and 2010 conclusion posts is still under drafts cos i cannot complete them LOL. okay but nvm i shall still blog. i realised this blog is kinda deaddddd hahahahah but nevermind, i'll say hi!!!! to anyone that is reading this woooh.

okay so today is 10 jan, amazing day, cos o's results are out. to my dearest, wang fei caris jo jj geraldine lena chuck shikai yixxx. no matter what the results are know that God loves you and he has higher plans for you

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

This was what my second sister sent me last year when i was receiving my results. cos my hp batt went flat after calling everyone and then she thought that the results were so bad that i off-ed my phone so she sent me this. hahah kinda funny. but still nice. thanks er jie. i know you're reading!!! (YOU KPO)

okay so school started. sucks as usual. i hate travelling 1.5 hours. even on the bus now. I HATE TRAVELLING. can i just go back to the time when i walked to plmgps or take a 20 mins bus to anderson. I MISS ANDERSON. seriously if you put anderson people in my poly class I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO GO TO SCHOOL EVERYDAY. oh and not forgetting the awesome teachers that we don't get at sp ):

and cf is looking for me for big big responsibilities. which i really wanto push away.

okay enough of renting, i have to blog (with photos) about:

-xmas eve in church
-ipoh

-1724 ying xin hui

-sf camp

-amb graduation

ANOTHER DAY HAHAHA

COS im lazy as usual.

in case you miss me too much. this is my pretty face with leisibian's spastic face.

TATA!!! :D

I deserve better

2010-11-20T10:26:00.003+08:00

have been spending so much time with churchies these few days idk why. maybe its cos their o's are over and they can just play till they drop dead. but hellooo im still studying, tests are coming omg i think i've been misusing God's grace cos i haven't been studying/ paying ALOT of attention in class and i still think I'm going to do well. omg i better change my mindset

Anyway i think im really crazy when im with leisibian, that woman can really make me go mad and high and wallau make people think that im crazy. hahaha but its fun really!

we're backup singers for TCR children rally later. The songs are so so soooo high and im having a bad sorethroat. just kill me? And oh i recieved a very difficult song to play in da tang on 26th of dec. pls just kill me too. I'm going ipoh for 10 days before that, HOW TO PRACTICE?!

i dont know why im so affected when people say that im fat. they are just stating facts what why do i get so angry. hmm. i mean, its just a normal adjective right, like short, skinny, smelly, pretty, ugly,crazy. i should care less.

oh btw i have been having an urge to call you and talk to you, hoping that things will get better and we can be back to what we were, but i realised, no. I deserve someone who loves me just like how i love you. so no. I'm letting go. I'm letting go.

CIAOZ

I want better memories

2010-11-14T01:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i really really really regret for not doing my best. Sigh. I want better memories. I want a better life. But then God kept on reminding me that nothing in the world is permanent, nothing in the world is impt, whats impt is afterlife right? I really need to keep reminding myself that.

Serve him and him only.

I look to you

2010-11-02T11:31:00.005+08:00

Helllloooo superultrawoman is back blogging after vvvvv long i bet you all miss me rightttttttt muahahahaz.

Some time back clique met to celebrate our dear linkai's birthday together with the netballers! Hahahaha can't believe that this small girl is 17 alrdy, hahaha stay spastic and happy okay leowlinglong. it was awesome being your friend! I think Clique should meet up more often. Hahaha I shall be nice and plan more activities!! You all must come attend ok!!

Then there was Leband's concert : Who's on air tonight? Honestly I'm very proud of the committee, not that I'm in the committee but haha really you guys are really committed and professional and yay you all made it! Thanks for all the hard work okay! Cos I really really enjoyed the concert.

It was quite a different experience because I attended only like 3-4 practices before the concert and i was really nervous cos its my first time playing first clarinet and here was like a few mini solos. I have never ever done this in my entire life since I've been stuck in 2nd clar since forever. It was very very scary. I could hear my heart got doogeun doogeun just seconds before the solo. Anyway i screwed one of it up and it totally spoilt my mood for the rest of the songs.

But thank God my dear juniors were very encouraging. When Rachel lie that I'm her ou xiang and jiahui said that I'm as nice as the chocolate ball, tho i was still sad but it did made me smile for a while. Oh and the old ones came back!!! haha thanks seniors. In the following picture we actually have people who are born from 1986-1997. hahahaha 10 years!! Thats why i love amb, you know our ties never break <3To my dear bai and jun was never fails to come support me at every single concert, no words can express how much i love you two. Especially when all my other close friends don't wanto come and I'm so freagin sad but you two are like the sun that brighten up my day!!! These two ladies never knew how to appreciate classical music but they would always be at the concert, you know their presence really just makes everything better. Even when they're hiding in the corner playing iphone throughout the whole show, haha i still love you two okay (: Thanks love!! Meeet up soon!!Life is too tough. Especially when you have ugly and painful skin and when you're really fat and ugly. In moments like this I just wanto meeet my jinki then I'll die peacefully. I would be very happy with my heavenly father above, no need to worry about jealousyness sadness and angryness and tiredness and painfulness. Everytime i look at other normal girls and i wonder why can't i be like them? I'm not strong enough to go through these things that normal people don't go through. All the stares and pain and ARGH. Why isit that people i love leave me and love other people? I'm too sad to think now. all i look forward to now is to spend my life happily with my God upstairs.

As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cost
After giving it my all

Winter storm has come
And darkened my Sun
After all that I've been through
WHo on earth can i turn to?

I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be Strong

God pls give me strength to live on.

I miss my yiii jiiiin kiiiiiii.

Run devil run

2010-10-16T01:14:00.002+08:00

I realised I'm a very greedy person.
I think I'm abandoning this place soon. Cos i seee no point of this place anymore.....................................................
cos I'm even afraid to rant here
oh you better run run run run~~~~
love wgm, totally hooked
school is starting on monday after my 3 months break
i need to do amb tuition stuffs
and get ready for sf camp
im stopping piano in november.
but i don't really wanto stop learning to play the piano.
i wanto pick up the guitar
i think i should really learn how to say no
my baby canon's battery cost 99 bucks wts
i want a polariod
skin is painful and school is starting means long pants will stick wts
choir performance on sunday i hope my legs can withstand the 1 hour.
wanto learn korean.
thinks that i should go play badminton at cc to lose some weight since i hate hate hate hate hate running.
this is a stupid post
ciaoz

Be brave

2010-10-06T16:47:00.002+08:00

holidays kinda suck cos I HAVE NOTHING TO DO AT HOME. haha i know those doing their promos are going to kill me when i say this but still, its true. But duh if you ask me I'll obviously prefer hols than schoool. Hohoho.

Okay Good news! I've made friends in poly! Hahaha you know how amazing my God is and i think through that terrible ordeal I've learnt to be a bettter person. I've no regrets God. Thank you for the lesson learnt, I believe that you allowed it to happen for a good reason ^^

Another good news!! I did well for my poly first sem!! I'm really really really so so so happy. Even though its not supersuper good like 4 like xuanxin or sigaii and also not pro like genius zayun who got 3.92. but i'm happy. Thank God for my 3.83!!!! HAHAHA. everyone is my class did well i think, so i think my results are no big deal but still im still v happy at least I've hit my target woooooh.

Recently I've started on the daily reading bible book on 1 Tim, you know how I'm really afraid even when I'm typing all these cos I have non christian friends who thinks that all these are rubbish and that my God is just my imaginary friend. God please help me to be brave enough to be your salt and light and to show them how great and almighty you are. Amen.

Hope that I'lll continue with this good habit of reading the bible daily!!!

Oh btw, I'm getting a new toy soooooon!!!! (I hope) pester mummy pester mummy pester mummy. Don't worry I wont forget my larry and baby. I think i should name my ipod. cos its reallyyyyy just so impt to me. HAhaha let me think about it. I'll get back to you. ^^

Right here, right now

2010-09-21T01:09:00.004+08:00

I miss you, alot.

was talking to minhweeee about you then it suddenly crossed my mind that maybe i shouldn't have let go. but no, i kept reminding myself of all the awful things you've done and I tell myself that you're not worthy of my love and my tears. came home, browsed through facebook, realised that i miss you even more, and i realised that no matter how hard I try, you're always have a place in my brain, my toes, my nose, my mind, my heart and soul. You get what i mean? You're everywhere.

Everywhere, but here with me.

Forever and never

2010-09-19T00:44:00.005+08:00

I've learnt that nothing in this world is forever. People come, people go. They say friends forever but we all know that that's not gonna happen. They say oh darling I'll love you forever. My foot.

Oh welllll, as least I have God. Thank God for his almighty everlasting love that is out of this world.

Anyway the above picture is my first piece of art, 请多多指教。spent my night with cell at helix bridge and flyer. it was beautifullllllllllll. so glad that i brought my baby along.

@simplestitch is very quiet at twitter today. i think i kinda miss her after spending 5/7 of this week with her. hahaha i miss laughing at her! oh well. hahhaha okay im going to sleep. so sad i can't finish IRIS today. mummy scolding. bye!

oh btw, holidays ROCKKK. wooohooo!

Xueqi is hungry

2010-09-17T00:25:00.002+08:00

hahahaha @simplestitch is staying at my house AGAIN. she's been here Monday Tuesday Weds Thurs. Hahahaha my dajie said: 你又来chalet ah?! you know her reason for coming to stay today? cos we wento watch movie and eat dinner and ended at 830. then she say very late she dowan go home alone. so she came. hahahaha stupid woman is stupid.

heh awwww since she confessed her love for me at her blog : http://dottedprints.blogspot.com i shall be nice and say something nice too. hahahah thanks for letting me have so much joy just by laughing at her. awesome much <3 hahahah i really pei fu her tolerance of us cos we're like laughing at her 24/7. hahahahahaha if i list down all her jokes here i think there wont be space. hahahahahaa.

okay enough of this idiot sheexueqi, i shall talk about God's grace for me!!!!

Firstly, exams are over!!!!!! I can finally start on my holiday plan. Do everything i wanto do.

Next, I FREAGIN PASSED MY PIANO EXAM!!!! passing mark is 100/150. guess how much i got?! I GOT............. ONE OH ONE. 101 101 101 101!!! omg i mean like im really super thankful because i was really prepared to fail cos of my poor preparation and lousy live performance on that day itself. But i freagin passed. means no need to take again!!!! YAY . NO MORE SCALES WOOOOOOH. but i'll still continue to learn so that I can serve the Lord better with better piano playing skills ^^ now i like playing piano a lot heheheheh cos got no stress.

Sometimes I really wonder what did I do to deserve all of this God's grace and his almighty love. Then I realised, its because he is MY ALMIGHTY GOD. The one who loves the world no matter how sinful we are. This is really crazy. Crazy love~~~ Thank God for all the amazing things that happened, no matter good or bad. I'm even thankful for all the bad things that happened because it is really GOOD FOR ME. For me to learn to be a better person.

You are my amazing Lord.

in your hands

2010-09-07T22:24:00.004+08:00

things to do during hols:
-take pictures
-photoshop
-do jiayoubao
-do script for sf camp
-clear my pink cupboard
-compose
-watch dramas

IRIS
personal taste
xiaobao yu kangxi
90210
White Collar
(more to come....)

-RUN

cant wait for hols. i mean the actual hols when exams are over.

Let me be yours

2010-08-24T19:08:00.000+08:00

Haha ok sorry for not blogging for so longggggggggg. I shall start blogging about special events that happened for the past 2 months. So this will be a long longlonggggggggggggg post.

1st up: stayover at jieleding's place!!

suppose to celebrate dahui's birthday but failed so badly cos dahui was so lateeee after her midnight movie TSK. hahah i had fun with jieleding and chanelshitsonyourtoes! :D But i wanted to sleeep so badly but chanel was so noisy throughout the whole night. jieleding and i had to 哄her to sleep and oh damn jieleding looks like a mum!!!! I used to think that jieleding's children will sufffer so badly but naoooo, hahaa i have a little change of opinion. Hehe!

So this is dahui with our 10 reasons why we love dahuiiii. Yes we love you dahui!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY dahui!!! :D Went back to sleeep cos next day was.....

SIBF! (Singapore International Band Festival)

I joined AMB to play in the 2nd division of the competition and haha it was awesomeeeee! It was my best competition for the past 4 years. It's the first time I enjoyed myself so much on stage during competition cos we played so awesomeeeeely that day. AND WE GOT OUR FREAGIN GOLD!!!!!!!! we were 2nd in place ^^ I had so much fun with my juniors that day hahaha AMB really have AWESOME people no matter which generation we're in! rockkkk on okay AMB I love you guys! <3>

So yet again, the next day was spent with AMB again! AMB had an exchanged with the ipoh AMC band hahah it was quite fun but im lazy to elaborate.

Then it was ahjia birthday celebration on 1st August!! It was kinda awesome cos I get to eat good food with my dear cousinss whom i haven't really met since cny. HAhaha i had awesome time cos im with awesome peopleee heheheheeeeeee! Oh and for the first time haojie followed us!! Everyone was so curious who was he.... haha he is my awesome fbl!!! :D

One day before national day my yog hols started so I had no schoool so i went to visit AMB again! They were playing for the paradeee so i had fun snapping pics of the parade and concert! The concert was the best ndp concert I've been to in andss everyone was so damn high my gosh hahahaha

Okay this sort of summarizes all the exciting things that happened for the past few weeks. These two weeks I worked started working and it kinda suck since I'm such a lazy person. But i have to say the people there are really quite niceeeee and funny hehe. But anyway I've told boss I wanto quit alrdy cos I really don't like the job!! very boring . So anyway i need to work for 3 more days before i can quit ARGH ):

okay shall post more things next time!!

I love my awesome life cos i have awesome friends hehehe thank you my awesome God ^^

I surrender my life to you

2010-08-16T20:53:00.003+08:00

saw this awesome quiz at naiba's blog.

Thank you my awesome God

I surrender my life to you.

Wish you were here

2010-08-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

When you believe

2010-08-05T21:30:00.002+08:00

hehehehehe lydia is so so so so so damn awesomez!!!!! :D

will post about recent exciting events soon!!

HARLOZZZ EVERYONE BE JEALOUS MY HOLS HAVE STARTED!!! :D

fairytale (not)

2010-08-01T00:35:00.003+08:00

you are everywhere.
even looking at people talking on the phone makes me think of you.

everytime when I miss you I can feel my heart fighting with my brain
whoever who said to follow your heart, screw you.
It'll never ever lead to a happy ending, cos this is not a freakin fairytale.

Run baby run

2010-07-31T22:20:00.002+08:00

Sorry for not updating for so longggggggg. I'm refraining myself from blogging because :

people pls pray for meeeeeeee. i need to live through this tough period. after that I'll blog properly with many many pictures ok!

xoxo you allll!

A piece of my heart

2010-07-18T21:14:00.003+08:00

I'm missing you like so so so so so so soooo terribly now. This is bad. I wanto talk to you sooo badly, but i have to keep reminding myself that those who left your life would naturally come back into it if they cared. if they freagin cared.

Mould me

2010-07-13T19:11:00.007+08:00

School sucks except weekends. I met my dearest girls last saturday! I hope zayun don't see this but heh we went to k without you again. They were freagin high and when i decide to rest and not be high for 1 minute, they were like : lydia why you so not high why why why~~~~ Best day in my entire month, or year maybe. Love you girls (L)

Then sunday was sf week! I wasn't asked to serve in any area so i figured i should just volunteer my dslr out ^^ sorry for the not very good skills yet, but im really trying! You know i feel so stressed cos everyone thinks that a good camera means good photographs but hello im just a begginner! Give me more time pls ): But anyway, I was so proud of my sf serving all on their own throughout the whole service. We really rocked! Good job to the musicians, usherers, and the behind the scenes commitee^^ The prayer thingy with the adult is kinda cool! Though I only had 3 back, im really thankful already (:

presenting to you, my dearest seow brothers! You know how they can never phail to cheer me up! L you guys okay!!! Hahaha the epic talk at 9pm at their house was really epic! I don't think anyone of us will be able to forget it. HEHEHEHE. Wait for cw and jj to finish o's then we'll definitely hangout more okay! OH AND OF COS WITH LEISIBIAN. She is freagin bimbotic. HA.

k im blogging during law lesson. Neat shitz!

Ytd i feel like crying, then today i dread coming to school. Then I realised nothing is impossible without God. I'm so so so glad I'm living for God, cos it makes life so much more easier. Thank you Lord! (L)

Jump and dance

2010-06-29T19:14:00.009+08:00

Holidays was a blasttttt!!! I really enjoyed myself A LOT. I can't wait for my next holiday!!! Okay so school started, not fun, but still im happy cos of my results. i saw a 9 after 10 years of studying. haha i mean the last time i scored 90+ was when im in p2!!! hahahaha YAY FOR LYDIA AND MY AWESOME GOD! thank God that i could write down whatever i studied! haha studying really works. (this is the first time im saying this, cos studying in andss never worked). im left with 1 law paper that will come back on thursday, and the emc individual proj that i screwed up half of it. i hope the other half would be goooood. okay so the best thing is........................... I got another chance for scholarship!!! Although its only another chance and not the scholarship, im really v v v thankful alrdy :D

So Last saturday we went to joel's house for cell's special event : zmls's farewell (yes again) and father's day celebration!

okay i should really thank this special man here for everything that he've done for sf/1724. i mean its like, i can see the HUGE changes that are made in sf within the 2 years he's with us. I can never forget how he helped me ALOT through the LOVE camp. he found us a lot of good deals and helped in doing many things and made the camp more successful. and and he taught me the importance of spreading the gospel and helped me to spread my first gospel yay! okay i know you won't be reading this zmls but i love you dearly and thank you sooooo much for everything that you've done for sf!

Hi this is my stupid shee xue qi! Eh zayun i wanto be one of the author's of your joke book of sxq! haha i got a lot of stupid jokes about her at church!! HAHA SXQ YOU DIEEEE. hahha but but this stupid girl is still treating me so nicely despite me keep making fun of her. she keep helping me take food and she bothered to be thr when she know im sad. haha thank you okay stupid woman!! are you trying to make me feel guilty huh!!! HAHA anyway you better go for 1724 camp!! I dowan to go alone pls ))):

so since's its daddy's day! here's a photo of my dear cute daddy. haha is this what they mean by: 见牙不见眼？ :Dhave been seeing jo a lot recently. hahahahahahha we are damn white in the photo!!!

ok so sunday we had zmls's farewell AGAIN. (third one alrdy) but its by sf! haha im so proud of sf manzxz. sf was so funnnnn although we had technical problems but they managed to find things to do meanwhile!! hahah yay thank God that everything went smoothly :D

must mention about my sleepover at leisibian's place last last week. haha okay so although i slept earlier than her, we managed to talk a lil before i fell asleep. ALOT BETTER than other sleepover sessions alrdy!! When its either me or her who fell alseep early (like within 10 mins) ok most of the times its me, but still!! Anyway it was good talking to leisibian about my depressing problems, although the problem its still there im really glad that i have someone to talk to about my self esteem problem. love you babe! I hope you'll cheer up too and know that I'm here for you just like how you're thr for me ^^ okay last but not least, dear qi we will rock sf camp 2010 okay! jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

CIAOZZZZ

Lost

2010-06-23T20:35:00.003+08:00

these few days have been sad. i've been complaining to God. it used to be happy days with few rough days but now its the other way round. and i can't seem to find myself anymore.

lydeeeeer i miss you. come back pretty pls?

Capturing the moments of love

2010-06-20T23:08:00.014+08:00

Recently I bought a new toy. And I got to do what I like : taking nice pictures

And capturing favourite moments

I love my new toy!

dusty

2010-06-10T00:58:00.003+08:00

this is my retarded friend jieleding tv cum duo duo cum hui chen. this is what we did when im studying and when she's chionging her work - skyping. haha damn it. i need to go back to studying. 2 chapters more yay!!!

Yellow flowers

2010-06-06T21:06:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldn't be here. law test is tmr and im so unprepared. my studying time table is so screwed up nothing is done cos im so so so lazy, un-disciplined (is thr such a word) and un-motivated. sigh i have no mood to blog. maybe i'll have the mood to study. HAAA. FAT HOPE. happy birthday my fav flower!

When things goes left

2010-06-03T23:04:00.003+08:00

I recieved the first set of my lousy results today. I never felt like this before. I rmb failing in sec school and it was really nothing to me. I can get 3/40 for a freagin maths test and turn around and laugh at my friend who got 1/40. What is thissss why am i so sad. If this continues im v sure i'll get depression soon cos i got a feeling i wont be able to do welllll.

Face it, Lydia. Its cos you're too proud. Having a not bad o levels score is nothing. Hello people cry w sadness when they get my results. Why am i so happy with it? Ok so maybe among all my classmates i may have the best o's score but look at what everyone is doing when you're blogging here. They are freagin mugging. I mug too. Why? Cos they think i can do very well since i have good o's score its like wth i don't like this i feel v pressurized to do well. Common it's God's grace its really nothing to do with my intelligence so stop giving me the ' you 8 pter confirm can do v well in poly' nonsense cos im freagin NOT DOING WELL AND IM FREAGIN STRESSED RIGHT NOW SO MAYBE YOU'LL LIKE TO SHUT THE TOOT UP. AND STOP ASKING HOW MUCH I GET AND GLOATING ARD COS YOU GET BETTER RESULTS NAOOOO. I will kick your asses just like how i kicked my sec school enemies asses I TELL YOU.

ARGH.

Omg i think this is a v nonsensical post i can't get what im trying to say too...... this is cos my mind is in a whirl~~~

Sigh ok im not suppose to feel this way. Lord pls help me to be humble, let me be nice to my classmates and stop having too high expectations for myself so that I can fall less hard. I wanto be a salt and light for you and not an angsty poly student naoooooooo.

):

You are my sunshine

2010-06-02T22:34:00.002+08:00

Today was awesomeeeeeeee. Finally got to spend quality time with my dearest churchies. Happy birthday aunty yap!!! i hope you enjoyed your day and i hope we didn't dissapoint you ah! haha cos this surprise was planned quite last min after many many changes. Thank you everyone for your cooperation for this surprise and im freagin sorry if i've de zui anyone during the process. for eg dorka lau for not going according to plan and changing the plan myself i realised my mistake only now ): really should have been more supportive and went ecp. thank you and jo for the hard work!!!!

I was freagin happy after the celebration, even though i couldn't join them for dinner. But i was really really contented. Because I've found back us, the original us, the nonsensical bonded fun crazy hyper us. I rmb after somethings that happened end of last year, things changed. I was freagin sad cos you all meant the world to me. I've been trying to make things better, people tell me i try to hard, and i should less. Some people said there's no way things will be like last time again. But tadaaa, I'm proud to say that nothing is impossible with God. I've been praying and praying for things to work out, and im so glad it did. ^^

To my dearest churchies, the reason why i've been dying to bond us back again is because i know the importance of fellowship in this road of growing in Christ. Most of you are sec4s now, and it is THE year, the v impt year. The year where you all will face the most troubles and get most depressed. so this is whr you all come in. Encourage each other by praying together, send smses to remind your brothers and sisters that they're not fighting alone cos we all have God together. Mugging sessions together willl be greattttt and v v fun too! I rmb when i had my o's, you all were a great source of motivation, without your encouragements i don't think i can get what i did. But the most amazing help still came from my own batch, like yihan and qi and everyone else cos we were going through the same tough time together and we know how it feels so we study together, help each other with our work and pray for each other which is really amazing. So yesss i really hope you all can start to be in each other's life more actively, and grow in God's love together!!!

Okay love you all kiddos. I need to sleep. if not tmr cannot wake up!!!

Oh btw: Happy birthday yap aunty!!! After all the effort we've put in to make you happy on your birthday, you should know how much you mean to us so no more of that 'i don't come also no one will care' rubbish okay!!! you are so so so so so so loved lah aunty!!! :D

Time will tell

2010-06-01T00:35:00.002+08:00

it's the first time i've experience the brain and heart telling you to do different thing, i always thought it'll be the same. then i realised how special i am. i'm stuck in between my brain and heart - doing both or nothing of what my heart and brain tells me.

then i realised

一切顺期自然吧。

Have i ever crossed your mind?

2010-05-31T23:23:00.002+08:00

should i be happy that my heart stop beating for you already, but its beating for you instead?

im scared.

Tumblr said:

"it's better to miss someone quietly rather then letting them know and getting no response"

let me sort out my thoughts in the bath room. I'll tell you when i'm back.

be yourself

2010-05-30T19:43:00.003+08:00

I don't know why im feeling so stressed up with a stupid term test with only 4 modules to study for. its wrong. term tests in sec school was never like that. damnz. i feel like throwing people.

this race against time is never ending, but after this term test, i promise that i'll give myself a break and start thinking seriously about what i wanto do with my life. they say 'be yourself', but i realised i've forgotten what is myself after too much pretending. haaaaaaa.

this is so not lydia lim i need to do better.

and i will.

Find us faithful

2010-05-28T20:38:00.002+08:00

Lydia Lim needs to be more disciplined.

Staying at home to study isn't such a great idea. Thanks to my favourite bai, i wasted my whole day studying only one chapter of law (actually that is what i presume i will complete cos i haven't completed it yet).

Tmr will be filled with worship rehearsals i hope i will still have time to study at least a bit. Alot of my classmates are chao mugger im getting a bit nervous cos they assume that i'll do well cos of my o's score so i can't imagine how much face i'll lose if i don't do well argh ):

oh and can you see my nice lappy? I've named it Larry. hehehe some people will know why. For those who don't just take it that its cos when i type with t9 on my phone lappy turns into larry. hehehe ok this post is damn lamezzzzzzz.

off to become a chao mugger!!!

Unworthy

2010-05-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

came home and recieved bad bad news, im super saddened by the news ):

not motivated to do well anymore ):

Sent out email to ask my dear friends to help me with my diet, today i got my first few help from my poly friends and it sucked. really really sucked. i know i shouldn't be angry with them but they are just so................argh.

okay nevermind tolerateeeeeeee

For my EC

2010-05-17T23:23:00.003+08:00

You know the feeling of, really liking some people, but you got a feeling that they don't really like you, but you just enjoy the time with them so so much? I'm in a dilema. I cannot decide.

If being fat brings so much inconvinience and sadness, im thinking, maybe this time it'll work.

Procastination

2010-05-12T23:12:00.003+08:00

Seriously im quite impressed with myself for leaving one whole week's work to one day. okay not one day. one night. no actually its from now to tmr 6am before i go to school.

this is called - procastination

Sexy seventeen

2010-05-04T18:39:00.006+08:00

LIM LYDIA TURNED SEXY SEVENTEEN!

love you all my dearest friends and family who made this day such a memorable one for me. SEE THE CAKE IS AWESOME RIGHT? SEE MY NAME? HEHE THANK YOU LIM YI HAN HU XIAO XUAN AND LIM YI XIN AND ALL MY BELOVED CHURCHIES for the very very nice cake love you all to bit and pieces!!!!

I'm seventeen! Kinda old alrdy guesss, but at least this is what i get from all my adorable juniors who wished me happy birthday! But Seventeeen is awesome, I think. I like the number Seven. Seventeen seems nice too. Aiyah what am i saying!

Anyway my point is, I almost teared in sunday morning's worship. I really really thank God for everything that he had done for me for my past 17 years, all the beautiful things that I've experienced, is amazing.

He gave me awesome friends which had made my life oh so wonderful and eggciting! I really only can rmb the happy times we had now, despite all those little quarrels and loneliness once in a while, what matters is only the happy times and I'm really thankful for it. Thank you awesome people who are always thr for me when i need you, like ahbai when i have no friends in poly, like caris lau whenever the bastards bastard me, like limyihan for the studying periods during o's and like sehhehhrahh for the awesome weds lunches and many many more!!!!!!!!!!

He gave me awesome miracles just like for PSLE and O's and my many many should have failed piano exams! Miracles like making sf camp 08 a successful one and also miracles like living in hk with cheryl pok for 2 weeks! All these could have only happen cos of his grace for me, and of course cos I trusted him dearly. I mean like he's the most awesome father i have who's always there when i need him, comforting me when im sad, letting me know that all things that happen will eventually turn out to be a good thing cos of his heavenly plan for me.

But ask me why he loves me

and i don't know what to say

but I'll never be the same

because he change my life when he became

everything to me,

you're more than a story

more than words on a page of history

you're the air that I brethe

the water i thirst for

and the ground beneathe my feet

you're everything
Lord you're everything to me.

Anyway back to topic, birthday wasn't really very awesome cos my favourite boyfriend forgot. I wanto laugh at myself, why why why why am i even expecting you to rmb our promise?

Time to move on and stop thinking that I still have a place in your heart. Its time to stop staring at the phone and to think that you might call. Its time to forget the times when it was just us. It's time to live a life.

Oh did I mention tht I love love love love sehhehhrahh and benji cos they are just like awesome people who said that they're going to beat up people who bullies me? I tell you all bastards you all better becareful and don't come and jisiao me if not benji will come and throw you from singapore to afganistan!!!!!!! and hope you'll get eaten up by the canibals.

Okay this post is getting too long! Bye!

Happy Labour Day

2010-05-01T21:07:00.004+08:00

Last year, I wished for (extracted from my previous blog) :

This year, I think I'm less greedy.

I want to be happy.

keep the faith

2010-04-27T23:11:00.002+08:00

i didn't really wanto blog about how pathetic i am in sp, cos im afraid my classmates will find their way here and laugh at me somemore. anyway, things are going both ways. as in both positively and negatively. the boys and some other people are secretly making fun of me, i feel like screaming at them to stop it but, sigh. i found new friends, at least there are people for me to cling on during lunch time. God is good! now all i have to do is get to know them better and know that they are much for crazier than what they are now........... i hope. OH and did i mention how i made friends? its cos of my funny voice when im having sorethroat after my sunday sharing. i hope my sharing did encourage sfers!!!

okay i think i will die thr's piano lesson tmr but i did not practice at all. i hope i will wake up tmr to practice. i hope i will. so, off to sleep now (: goodnight!

Only you

2010-04-21T23:15:00.003+08:00

How i feel so lost ):

Feels good to be happy after such a longgg time. Thank God for sehhehhrahh! Feels good to be with someone who likes me after sucha longgg time.

Laughed like mad in choir today, i think its cos i haven't laugh for so longgggg thats why im laughing at tiny things that aren't really funny now. anyway it feels good to be home.

God pls save me from this nightmare, im going to give another shot tmr, but idk if it'll work. pls help meeeeee, i've learnt my lesson alrdy really ):

Pls pray for me i really wanto enjoy school!!!!!!!!

running in the rain

2010-04-20T19:33:00.001+08:00

i know i should be viewing this in a more positive manner but what the hell i really can't. school really sucks i can't make friends pls wake me up from my nightmare.

off to practice piano and hopefully study abit.

I'll follow you

2010-04-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

It's the empty feeling i always get when i complete one drama and hating the fact that it ended. Ahhhhhh my dear huan zhu ge ge ): it's really really awesome. made me laugh like mad and cry like shit but happy like a lark. Love the characters and story line!!!!! Their love story is awesome. So as usual I'm hooked onto their OST. The drama is 12 year old, so is their songs, its v corny, but awesome. I hope my love story is as touching as theirs! Where is my own wu ah ge? ):

School is starting tmr, I really can't wait for my three years to end when it haven't even start -.- really hope that i can start loving my classmates and find a good cca that suits me and make me love sp just like how i love amb.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh schoool sucks byeeeeeeeee

hopeful

2010-04-13T21:34:00.002+08:00

Okay, first day in sp officially sucked. really regretted choosing sp cos its really so damn far and worse still my school is so far from mrt dammit. its so easy to go missing in school lar argh. i really passed the age to make friends argh!!! i neeed to find someone who speaks chinese and is lazy like me!!!!!!!

tmr is telematches + amazing race in sp i wanto dieeee argh. i just pray that tmr will be better. if not im so gonna leave halfway.

Borned to love

2010-04-08T23:35:00.003+08:00

hellloooo all thank you for all your concerns im feeling btr now alrdy. the fever has gone down but still bad sore throat and appetite. went to see doc ytd night, gave me 6 big pills to swallow 3 times a day. i swallowed for one and a half meals and gave up. shall just go and finish up my anti biotics and heck the rest. wont die right? anyway fever has gone down alrdy left with a lil headache and bad sorethroat. oh i realised i mentioned it alrdy haha

okay anyway seems like a lot people is as hot as me!! haha take care okay caris chaowang chester zhiqing luther!!! all kena fever so crazyyyyy.

anyway did i mention ytd that i think that the huan zhu ge ge was too boring? haha i tried to watch it again (out of boredom) smarter this time, i started from ep 5 so that i can skip the boring parts. and it was awesomeeeeeeeeee. i neever had such a great time laughing at a drama alrdy. and the couples are just so sweeet (: hehehee anyway though its a 12 year old drama but its good for a recap!!! i can't rmb anything since the last time i watched it!!!

okay shall stop being a couch potato and try to go to work or shopping tmr!

oh and my appettite is still bad!! hope it really sheds fats. the total things i ate for the past 4 days is less than one of my normal meal.

okay off to bathe and sleep and dream about my awesome huan zhu gege!! see you all sooon bye!!!

Feverrr

2010-04-07T14:07:00.002+08:00

My head still hurts like crap. I hate having fever.... cos i can't go out and thus makes me sicker. i haven't been stuck at home for so long since the last sars period. yes means i've been going out everyday last time..................

aiyoh don't know why suddenly miss hanging out with geri and dahui.

haven't been eating much these few days. don't know whats happening but im pretty happy cos hopefully i'll be able to shed a bit fats these few days. I have only been eating 1/8 of my dinner for the past few days. not anything else. oh and half a pao this morning. hehehe pls tell me this will help to jian fei?

digged out a few dramas to watch. the ancient huan zhu ge ge. haha but i watched half an ep and think that its too boring to be continued. watched my gu junpyo too^^

okay off to look for dramas to watch byebyeee

the best damn thing

2010-04-05T17:45:00.001+08:00

AMBIENCE VII

One of the best ambience ever. partly becos it's the first time as alumni so thr is no need to help run and shift instruments and falling in everytime. No doubt I had a great smashing time with my juniors and fellow alumnis. I thought it was going to be the worst ambience ever before the concert started, having people snatching away things that belong to me an aiyah i had some issues. haha turns out its the best one ever! <3>

AMB sounded awesome, like very awesome, for the first time i was thinking, is that really amb? My dear adorable juniors have evolved into great musicians and im sooooo proud of them^^ Clarinets sounded especially nice that day!!! ^^

The truck came late to fetch the instruments so the rest of us spent a good half an hour dancing tango with the stalk in my mouth. It was awesome ttm!! I had a hard time laughing till my stomach aches.

Then we trooped down to macs at an unearthly hour of 12am and ha ha ha it was fun though i was alrdy damn tired. The first time i reached home at 2am! and yay mummy didn't scold ^^

You know what the best thing is? Seeing people loving amb as much as i do (see picture 1)

AMB IS THE BEST YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'm having a fever ): Its okay it just shows how hot i am^^ i think im v pro, i slept from 2330 to 1030 ytd then 1130 to 1730 again just now. I haven't ate anything since ytd night 1930. haha okay do you get why im trying to say?

IM HUNGRY

tmr will be a btr day

2010-03-31T12:07:00.004+08:00

helllooooooooooooo im so egggxicted cos im blogging using my new fujitsu laptop!!!!!!!! hehehe i love it so much i just need to buy a new laptop bag and screen protector and the laptop skin to make sure its in tip top condition until end of my threee years in poly. i hope it wont die so soon cos im really quite a careless person hahaha. its soo pweetyyyyy hehehe.

ma ding says i must thank him for going to sp with me to get my laptop at 8am but i only reached at 839am. hahahaha. okay thank you ma ding. so does it mean that i don't need to accompany you tmr after saying thank you? hehehehe

band concert tmr i can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you xiong, bai, seph for support love you guys and see you alll tmr!

AMB JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!!!!

Running out of chances

2010-03-29T23:49:00.002+08:00

“ Ever have that one person in your life that you just can’t give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time yet you always seem to give them another chance, and no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it’s a lie because there’s always just one more waiting for them. the one person you know you’re better off without but yet you can’t find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn’t know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn’t deserve you but yet you choose to overlook it because you love him."

One day, when you run out of chances...does it mean that I love you no more?

Everything is spelt so clearly to me today. Then I realised how you've alrdy showed me a million years ago, just that I didn't want to accept it.

Today is the day, when I'm kicking you out of my life.

Reaching for God :>

2010-03-26T00:16:00.008+08:00

I apologise for neglecting my superultrawoman for so long, but i guess it doesn't really matter cos i don't think there are readers out thr haha.

This is my Amazing reaching for God shirt. My adorable juniors have been telling me that I'm always wearing that shirt, and i never realised till I saw these section photos ( and you know how rare we get to take section photos). Fyi all 4 pics happened to be consecutive section outings or band camp, they are taken at different timings at diff places.

Working at Mr Lim shop with dahui and ma ding and miss lim is quite fun except for the fact that they keep blaming me for doing wrong things when sometimes it isn't my fault. I know they are just joking ard sometimes but i can't help but to be angry and roll my eyes at them sometimes cos it makes me feel that im very incapable. Argh nevermind.................

Everyone is going OAS (officially anderson sick) on facebook but haha im not maybe cos i've been going down at least twice a week, and I really don't really miss the company of anyone from andss except for Amb. I agree that I had fun times in andss, but some of the most horriblest memories are made there too so yeah nvm.

Concert is in a few days! I think im turning to a kuku why did i forget to write the date on the previous post. But anyway here it is :

Anderson Military band presents

AMBIENCE VII
1 April 2010 (no its not an aprils fool joke)
1930-2130
Victoria Concert Hall
$12

Pls buy tickets from me im getting desperate!! Anyway this year concert will be one of the most entertaining ones cos my adorable juniors are dancing and singing so yes pls come and support!!! You know how i hate to beg people to come to band concert >( Oh plus they sound good..... really.

Okay off to slp before my dad continues to nag. Nights!

i really wanto...

2010-03-09T00:59:00.003+08:00

im so freagin tired ):

i don't really like working idk why but it soaks up energy.... and i can't seem to learn things very quickly. when things crops up and there are simple challenges for me to handle, i realised i can't even do it. ha ha lydia lim good job you think too highly of yourself.

i need to buck up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jy lim lydiaaa, stop nuaa-ing like ever.

pls don't treat me as a kid trying to change the world, its really the heart that matters right? argh give me the strength to carry on my Lord, even though its only the starting and i alrdy feel like giving up alrdy...... ):

AMBIENCE VII
Victoria Concert Hall
1930-2130

First time performing as an alumni^^
pls support!!!!!!!!

nights everyone :>

Until you hold my hand

2010-02-25T23:59:00.006+08:00

I'm really happy to see how God's love start to work in me. I'm starting to love people who i used to dislike, and like people who i used to hate :> im a happy kid.

I really wanto continue to shine like a salt and light, Lord pls give me the strength. I need to be humble, Lord pls remind me that I'm not worthy to be your servant always.

Life's best now and im enjoying every single moment of it, I have friends to share my joy and make me happy and just relax before school starts. I get to watch many many dramas like Down with Love. I finished it even though its only at ep 3 in taiwan, im pro :> (thanks jo!!) and Jerry Yan is damn adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm proshitzzx cos i finish 22 eps in one day :> hehehe

I would love to start my eggciting job soon cos im really lifeless now!!!!

God bless you all im going to dream of my jerry :>

moving on

2010-02-24T00:17:00.003+08:00

i did the most embarrassing thing of my life. shit. whr to hide my face!

happy birthday xiong!!!!!
meet up soon ^^

I didn't lose him; I let him go. I didn’t get over him; I moved on. When you truly love someone you never lose them or get over them, they will always mean something to you, so no matter how hard you try if it was true love, you’ll never forget them. -tumblr

im glad i've moved on :>

It's not suppose to

2010-02-17T11:09:00.003+08:00

I felt moments of awesomeness ytd. Even though it was just a few moments, it felt great to feel awesome.

The photos weren't from ytd, but i went out with the same people and it was rather fun hehehe. More outings ok batch!!!!! *plus the 2 laode^^

It's not suppose to feel this way,
You're not even mine in the first place.

Awesome.

2010-02-13T12:18:00.002+08:00

I miss feeling awesome.

Flor told me that my feelings are written clearly on my face, always. I've been fa-ing alot of my xiao-jie pi qi, I'm sorrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. But I'm glad that I've really been forgiving and forgetting recently. Cos I can't seem to rmb what I'm upset with 10 minutes later (:

My dearest tutor brought chocolates and cakes for me yay <3 He say he'll treat me to sakae and oh did i say that he bought me boys over flower dvd? Haha yay this is my adorable tutor (:

I wanto feel awesome. I realised that I only can find those feelings when I'm watching drama. You're beautiful is a great kdrama, not v draggy, quite sweet, awesome <3

I wanto feel awesome.

Happy chu xi!

Beyond words

2010-02-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

I've been staying at home for too long, cooping myself in my own world of fairytales. Where princes exists, where the prince and princess would live happily every after. I love happy scenes and sometimes I'll put myself in the shoes of the princess. How I wish.........................

It's just a little girl's silly dream.

And I'll still love you
beyond what words will say
I'll take your every suffering moment
and bring a better day
I'll still love you
more then what i hope to be
let me wrap my arms around you
let me take your breath away

People

2010-01-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

You know sometimes you choose not to hangout with some people because your people thinks that they just can't fit into your people. So when your people start saying about how stupid the other people is, you start to think that the other people are stupid even though you haven't even started hanging out with them yet or actually you find them ok at first. So someday when you when to hangout with the other people because your people aren't there and you find them even more fun then your people.......................

What would you do?

Stairway to Heaven

2010-01-28T22:27:00.018+08:00

I'm so pekchek now because :

1. greys in not loading arghh
2. everyone is having school and im not and they are ignoring me because either they are too busy having fun or too lazy to reply to poly people wth?
3. leisibian thinks that i should care less.
4. i must help my mum with her work
5. kelly services haven't get back to me yet!!! ):
6. I wanto sleep.

Met leisibian today and we talked alot, she thinks that I should care less. Everything makes sense to care less. Because it will stop bothering me, and maybe if I just don't care, it wouldn't be a problem to me anymore.

Hate it when I wanto be a better christian but still talking bad behind people's back arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its wrong so stop it limlydia!!!!

Love looking palawan pictures with clique!! I think we're freagin cute^^

hello more outings next time ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy shitzxzx^^

I'm not okay

2010-01-28T00:55:00.003+08:00

I'm not emo!!! Sehhehhrahh said that im very emo. I'm not. I'm happy. But it doesn't mean that everything is okay. And I'm perfectly fine with it, because what's a rose without thorns?

Everyone is starting school tmr, I wanto tooo. But I still got 3 more months wth! I'm not being sarcastic really, but i really don't wanto be left alone at home ): Anyway I've sent my first job resume, hope i get to work for the short event!!

Ytd's clique outing was awesome, today's batch outing was awesome-r. I guess its because I've been spending way too much time with batch alrdy since sec 1, 3 times a week (maybe more usually) together crapping shitzxz and i realised its stupid fun with them <3

Both outings made me think that it was like a farewell party? Cos I really don't know when is the next time we can still meet again and have fun together like that. Love you girlies and batch mates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the best in your new schools! Make new friends but pls don't don't don't forget us ok? (:

Its crazy to love someone who hurt you, and crazier to think that the person who hurt you loves you.

I give up

2010-01-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

Dear friend, i officially give up on our friendship. You're no longer my bestest girlfriend anymore, but just a talking partner. because I realised I can no longer rely on you anymore, and you have long ago stopped relying on me. You were the best, I swear. My head is bursting, and I miss you. Yes I wish you are here, now, right beside me. You were just a call away, always, but now, everything is more impt then me no? I want things to be back to where they were, where I could just call you and you'll know that something is wrong. Not when I call you and say you're tired and you wanto sleep. I give up.

Hear, art, Hearts.

2010-01-24T17:43:00.002+08:00

Ytd i felt

sad, crazy, disappointed, loved, pissed, happy, relieved, nervous, excited, screwed up, angry all in one day, all in all, i didn't really like ytd.

i could really use a lil encouragement even though i know i screwed it up. But no you didn't think so so you went on abt how i suck

Ytd I realized how true my friends were. Stop using me seriously. I should thank you all for not turning up because this way you all couldn't see me screw up no?

Anyway, on a happier note, I'm looking forward to my prata house trip no? (L)

one day at a time

2010-01-21T00:59:00.003+08:00

sometimes i feel that the harder i work, the more things wont happen the way i want it. but when i stop to take a breath, i realised things get better. maybe its because im less desperate alrdy, or maybe its just because i don't really care anymore.

my point is : care less.

'No.'

2010-01-20T00:19:00.002+08:00

I think that my life is full of crap. Why make my own life so difficult when all I need to say is 'no.' Dammit. I need to talk to you right now, but obviously you think that sleeping is more impt, which i think isn't wrong, just that because i need you right now so it makes you look like crap to me. damn.

lets get it over and done with.

please for goodness sake just act like one if you one. love, forgive, obey, stop judging people. there is so much to do but i just don't know how and whr to start. please, return, to, norm. i need my norm life with you guys.

Decisions.

2010-01-13T23:01:00.008+08:00

OMG WHY SO HARD TO CHOOSE?!

Polytechnic

PROS:
- can study what i like
- will make life in university much easier and useful for my future work ( i wanto do hospitality and tourism to become hotel manager btw)

CONS:
- only 20% of the top students can get into university. (got alot of smart asses that got 8 pts are going poly!!! HOW TO FIGHT WITH THEM.)
- GPA for each semester is counted ( means i have to have good results consistently, cannot slack and chiong at the end anymore, cos if I do badly for 1 semester, it'll affect my whole results to apply for uni)
- expensive

Junior College

PROS:
-2 years
-top 60% can get into university
- cheaper

CONS:
-study useless things ( like why would i need so chimm maths for my future -.-)
- v v v v v tough cos got alot of things to study
- i wanto go nyjc so if i get in i only need to travel for 15 mins
- It doesn't matter if my results is like shit at first as long as my A's is okay.

His mercy flows

2010-01-12T06:48:00.007+08:00

This is what im doing at 653am in the morning.

I stayed over at rae's place today! Very fun with my retarded friends wooooh.

What can I say........................

My God is so big
So Strong and so mighty
There's nothing my God cannnot do
FOR ME AND YOU.

Whatever dagu said is right, God is so good to me, his grace for me is over flowing. And I really should not exploit his grace anymore by not studying hard. I will rock Temasek poly!

To those who look downed on me and think that I cannot beat you, HAH. IN YOUR FACE. Check out my 'screw you with a screwdriver post'.

http://superultrawoman.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-am-not-going-to-lose-to-you.html

Thank you for motivating me by looking down on me.

Last but not least, showing you my act cute disgusting friend:

hahaha love both of you lah! ^^

I am back

2010-01-05T00:47:00.001+08:00

HELLLOO I AM BACK FROM HONGKONG!!!!!!

i got so much to blog about but i just can't cos im lazy and out of time.

i gtg cos today is 2407 chalet!!!!!

CREDITS TO MY DEAREST AHBAI^^

God is true

2009-12-26T11:53:00.002+08:00

Helllllooo alll im so sorry for my dead blog for the past few days.

I'm in hongkong now!!!!!!!

not exactly v exciting, cos im like missing all the fun with churchies in spore and i just miss them so much dammmitttttttt. >( you know how much i hate to misss such great gatherings like this. ):

Anyway great job to the camp committee! I know you all have rocked the camp! ^^

I miss sf, i miss amb, i miss my family ahhhhhhhhhh shittttttttzxzx.

I think I've screwed up 2407 chalet, but thank God there's ahbai. And I really wanto apologise to kunalan, I'm really sorry ok! but I really did send you a msg to tell you that cannot use photocopied ic. I really did!!!! my section mates can proof that i called the person and asked. I even used weiyang's wifi to check for aloha's number when we're at kfc. LIKE SERIOUSLY arghhh it doesn't feel great to be wronged >< but still KUNALAN I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP LIKE SERIOUSLY. PLS! and TY.

These few days have to great cossss of the amount of things God had taught me in hk, I don't think its something that I can learn from spore, and I'm really thankful that I came, even if it means missing all the fun in spore.

Cheryl Pok is pissed off by my highness sometimes, and i have a million photos of her unglam face.

God is true.

Turning back the time

2009-12-03T22:39:00.004+08:00

Helllllllllooooooo world

Post o's is great. I've been eating, watching tv, going out, sleeping and... thats all.

Met my pl mates ytd, very fun^^ we played mahjong and ohmytian i actually did a shisanyao!!!!!!!! OMG hahahaha its really true i can't believe it but its true. anyway we had fun, really^^

haha did i say i love minhweeeee cos she bought we souvenirs yay!!!!!!! love you sweetheart woooooh^^

Went out with the leisibian and shimin today. What can i say other than sitting on the breakwaters is really relaxing. God is good, the breeze was there and there was no heat or sun. Its good for thinking.

Now I understand, not everyone gets their second chance. So its impt to treasure your 1st chance isn't it? But when your first chance is gone..... you wish you could turn back time, but you can't. Which sucks.

Children's camp 09

2009-11-30T16:52:00.006+08:00

Hello World,

I didn't know I will update, Surprise surprise!

Anyway I'm back from children's camp, its really very very enjoyable. Didn't get to take much pictures, but that isn't the point, the point is that I had fun, and the above pictures showed my very young yet obedient primary three roommates.^^

First time being a small laoshi, I really had this sense of satisfaction when they called me lydia jiejie or laoshi. They ask me for permission, to go to the toilet, to bathe, to go out of the room, to unpack their bags, to bathe TOGETHER. haha okay. They're really adorable, but unbearable sometimes, really. My throat is still sore from all the shouting.

Worked with some people that I rarely worked with, and they are... nice. Surprisingly. I mean, I didn't like to work with them at first, but after awhile you get to know them you'll think they're actually very nice and workable with! Yay so good job to the 11 disciples, we rocked the camp! YAY.

I've learnt to tolerate, their nonsense and their naughtiness. I've learnt to self-control. Don't do things that we shouldn't do. Cos it brings in bad consequences. I've learnt meekness. Its about giving in, loving one another without any conditions. Other than growing spiritually, I've actually learnt to be a better leader among the younger ones. I know I'm really fierce sometimes, but thank you all for tolerating me, I just want the best out of best of us. Pls forgive me cos I really can't control my anger sometimes, and I know you guys can really hate me sometimes, I'm really sorry. I'll try to change. Self-control.

Anyway I really really love siqilaoshi^^

What goes up comes down

2009-11-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

I spent my whole day watching greys anatomy.

I got a worship ppt due on thurs. im leaving on thurs. and there's pop and mahjong tmr. how to complete everything?! and and and i haven't packed.

Thank God I have a maid now. Temp maid. From my grandma house. While she is at malaysia for the next 9 days. YAY. she's sleeping on my bed while i sleep on my sleeping bag. Yay.

helllooo, you are disgusting. leave me alone will you.

Unreachable.

2009-11-22T22:01:00.002+08:00

My Best friend.

I miss being on top of your priority list.
I miss talking to you on the phone till i start falling asleep.
I miss hanging up your calls and rejecting it umpteen times
I miss complaining to you about the world's biggest bitches and bastards.
I miss whining to you.
I miss the times when you're just there for me to cry on.
I miss the times when you turn those tears of sadness into of mine into tears of laughter.
I miss you, and I need you, you are still the only one.
Where are you?

Be dead and rise from the dead

2009-11-16T00:47:00.004+08:00

Yooooooooooozzzzzzzz, da jia hao.

its the first sunday after o's. It feels good to go home after church and know that you got NOTHING to study and just relax at home. watch my fav soft green sky, and just feel so damn good ^^

haha i think i have no life but doesn't matter. But not really too cos i can feel responsibilities climbing up. Church children's camp making me nervoussss i can't take worship for nutssss ahhhhhhhhhh and i really don't want to screw things up. And i have to lead bs next next week which totally suck-.- i don't think im prepared.

I hate people to act that they care, when they obviously don't.

The day when i spent 25 bucks on taxi. I will never forget. Oh btw its mummy's birthday. We wento eat ding tai feng and secret recipe yummmm^^

Churchies celebration at jo's function room, incredibly fun. I can't believe I can still enjoy myself so much without mike when singing k. yay i learnt billard!! like finally (:

Banded with some of the sec 4s an 2 lao de. Haha ended up trying many diff kinds of instruments, i love flor shes still the bestttt (:

Xiaobai is very troublesome we walked so many places. When she can't find her dress she complain that she's screwed. When she found one that she likes she goes omg howww what if clash with someone and so she's screwed again. hahaha. walk till leg pain ah. but haha she is really patient. She waited 90 mins for me at the optical shop HEH love you bai^^

Sentosa tmr with churchies! ^^

Just...... Idk what to say. Stop leaving me out :((((
It doesn't feel good :((((((((

Its a new beginning

2009-11-12T03:49:00.003+08:00

HELLO OMG IT IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHAHA I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OTHER THAN I REALLY LOVE EVERYONE COS ITS OVER NOW. THE WORLD IS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL HELLOOO ALL I LOVE YOU ALLL!!!!!!!!!

okay enough of nonsense. its 3.51am now. But I'm still very awake. Haha probably cos I've just watched my queen online just now. Only 2 eps but i refrained myself from continuing.

Anyway this is the list of people I wanto thank who helped me survive my O's period (not in any order):

Okay I typed out a few and I realised theres too many to list and Im lazy so forget it.

THANKS ALL!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!
shall post more proper posts next time.

Ciaozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (It feels weird not saying ciaozz off to ss/chem/lit/math hahah but anyway, CIAOOZZZZ OFF TO SLEEEP!!!!)